Sometimes I Want to Disappear

This post is dedicated to Houdini by Foster the People. It’s so freaking catchy and I can’t get it out of my head—you should all most definitely give it a listen.

Speaking of music reviews, I’ve become a poster on a friend’s blog called More Than Just Techno—it’s a collaborative effort that aims to expose people to different types of electronic music. I haven’t been any better about posting over there than I have been over here, but hopefully now I’ll be able to write regular posts for both of my projects. I’ve written one music review so far of a song called Gold Dust (Flux Pavilion Remix), which you can find here.

But okay, enough linking. Phew. It’s starting to look like Wikipedia up in here.

It’s been another week for me here at school and I am still not really adjusting well to the sheer amount of work that I have. I haven’t even really had to turn a lot of things in, which is mostly what is getting me down. This morning (if you can still call noon morning, er) I sat down and arranged my schedule, finally putting all my due dates on my Google calendar. – As an aside, I’m OBSESSED with Google calendar. It helps me stay organized and I love to be able to actually see what I have to do.—But anyway, in organizing this I learned a couple of things.

One is that spring break is in two weeks. TWO WEEKS??? SERIOUSLY?? WHERE HAS THE SEMESTER GONE??  I still feel like I just got here. Having spring break be so soon makes me feel guilty about still adjusting to life back here in the US—how is it at all acceptable for me to still be adjusting halfway through the semester?! If I’ve been back at school for almost two full months now and am still not fully back into the swing of things, will I ever really readjust to it? Is the way I’m experiencing college now the way I’m going to experience it until I graduate?? What if I never become a normal US student again??

I mean, freakout aside, for all intents and purposes I actually am a normal US student. But something about it still feels like it doesn’t fit completely anymore, which is what’s scaring me a little bit.

The second thing I learned is that in the two weeks immediately following spring break, I will probably not be sleeping; this somehow is when all my midterm papers and projects are due. I’ve done weeks like this in the past. Hell, I’ve survived weeks way worse than this stretch and come out still fighting. But given my recent (lack of) ability to get anything done, I think I am understandably worried about my ability to get through these two weeks while still maintaining some shred of sanity. I am worried about my ability to get work done like I have never been worried about it in my life. I know I’m going to get through it, and I know I’m going to be alright, but gosh it is going to be tough.

I’ve also turned into a pansy in terms of sleeping. I used to be able to not sleep, no problem, and now that I’ve had a taste of what it’s like for my brain to function normally I’m not willing to give it up. So now that it’s after 2.00 am, dear readers, I’m calling it a night. Goodnight, all! Until next time.  🙂


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